Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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