You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
