You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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