We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He is an equal opportunity slut.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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