i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Welp...herpes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize