how can u be prego again
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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