TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
