Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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