he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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