I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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