she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
