Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dignity is for republicans.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
