She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
