Already got asked if we're dating
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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