She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
