I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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