C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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