Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
40s are totally the cure
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
