i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
