hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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