I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
