wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
