I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
