Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize