3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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