the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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