Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
