it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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