we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
