I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
