i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
