I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
