Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
