I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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