Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
