no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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