What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
