We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
