I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize