just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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