is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
