Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i out mim tonsoeep
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