whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am one with the molecules
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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