Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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