is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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