I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How naked do you want me to be?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
