I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
