I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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