Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
