Don't you send me to vm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
