Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize