What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
