If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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