he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
