So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
