I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
