He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
