D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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