Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
