I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
