Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
