i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
