they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
